Week # 7: Sexual Intimacy and Family life

What I learned this week is that couples who often complain about sexual intimacy problems often do not adequately talk with their spouse about the problems that they may have.  The key to resolving such an issue is first doing your homework, second having the patience, and third final having good communication with your spouse to encourage and discourage undesirable behaviors.  Like all churches who discourage or refrain about sexual education the young adults need to seek out good sources of education that teaches about this so that can  prevent embarrassing and potentially hurtful situations when it comes to sexual intimacy in marriage. I still a fairly new member of the church so I am still baffled at some of the customs and culture of the church such as the guilt that is placed on “noncommittal make outs” and things of that nature.  I think it is very funny, but now I am starting to realize why the culture places such a great emphasis on things like this because the church discourages such acts. In my culture back home and I guess from the worldly perspective that a kiss was the least possible thing that you would expect on a date. I am learning to distinguish between the different sub- cultures here in Idaho and the principles of the church which clears up a lot of the misconceptions that I have.
 

I also read another book for my marriage class and it stated that there are ten steps to

10 steps to preventing infidelity

1.       Do not allow the seeds of lust to germinate.

2.       Never make excuses to spend time alone with a person of the opposite sex who is not your spouse.

3.       Take responsibility for the messages that you give. So do not flirt with others.

4.       Do not allow your heart to dwell on anyone.

5.       If you find yourself making excuses for continuing the relationship, you are addicted.

6.       Spend more enjoyable time with your spouse.

7.       Renew your spiritual efforts.

8.       Don’t set yourself for failure.

9.       Keep your soul free of the soul-numbing barrenness of pornography.

10.   Celebrate the sweet gift of companionship.

Week # 6 Transitons in Marriage

What I thought was the most important concept from this week’s reading and from the class discussion was the fact the majorities of people have unrealistic expectations for marriage and are hurt when their dreams do not come true. We have to retain the same qualities that we want in a potential spouse.  How can individual expect someone to have certain characteristics that they do not have themselves?  I feel that is so hypocritical. Most of the time people develop these false notions of what they seen portrayed by the media.  Movies such as Twilight that take unrealistic expectations as to what to look for in a spouse, but this are the real world not fiction. We often overlook the keep principles that are right in front of us for example the family proclamation that specify our roles within the family so that confusion can be prevented.  Another concept that really stood out to me was the concept that when you marry your spouse you are marrying their in-laws as well. My family truly needs to practice this more. I never really have seen my in-laws of my aunt’s husband’s family besides during their wedding. It is important to define or create a barrier between you and your spouse to establish the guide lines of your relationship with your spouse away from the rest of the world.  Your relationship with your in-laws is vital in becoming part of their family, but at the same establishing your own with your spouse. Your relationship with them can be very beneficial for networking. It also can have a negative effect you do not create the barrier beforehand.    

Week #2 Understanding Family Dynamics and Therories

Week # 5 Preparing for Marriage

From this section I realized two perpetual problems that I continue to make in my relationships. The first would be not asking the important question when I ‘am in the process of courting someone.  The second would be mistaking lust for love. In this section it helped me to distinguish between the two.  There are different types of love.  The first, being passionate love which is defined as a preoccupation and intense longing for union with a particular other. And the second, in contrast, compassionate love is affection for and commitment to someone with whom one is deeply involved.  We have to have both these characteristics to have a satisfying marriage. From these two definitions I derived the concept that we have to first have yes the physical attractiveness, but it is not all the matters we also we have to develop an intimate friendship with our spouse. We can learn what characteristics of what we desire in a potential spouse. We can find the sacred qualities by effective dating. We should ask whoever we may be courting the important questions first and see how the act in particular circumstances. I know from experience that infatuation like beauty fades and you come to the point in the relationship when you ask yourself is being in this relationship worth the trouble? Is your potential spouse committed as I am? So it is essential to ask these important to ask these vital questions before we become involved with someone else to avoid future heart ache.

Week #4 Gender and Family life

Our gender roles are partially biological but our conditioning or socialization also plays a crucial part in how we behave in society. There mediums or avenues in which we are all influenced such as our religious institutions, our parents, and of course the let’s not forget the media.  Although men and women have these drastic differences that sometimes may cause confusion.  It’s important to recognize that our individual interpretation or how we encode that event or circumstances is the vital part to understanding and overcoming these differences. Another key to resolving these issues is to develop a Christ like love for our significant other and realize that these differences were created for a special purpose to enable not our spiritual growth, but our temporal develop of having the ability to understand someone who may be different from us.  These differences are essential to our marital success it is like yin and yang which creates balance within our lives. Despite the growing decentralization or decrease in the importance of the family is under attack, let us not forget that our nation was built upon these traditional values. A majority of Americans still believe in these sacred concepts or principles regardless of the cultural changes that have taken place.  I also believe that we have to believe the best in our spouse by that we have to believe that our spouse has the best interest at heart. As an effect the minor annoyances will no longer bother us as much as they use to. We will have the trust that the Lord has in us that we will come to the right conclusion despite our current circumstance and past behaviors.  He for gives and so should we which allows us to move on and strengthen our relationships. So the next time the toilet seat is left up or she is taking too much time getting dress or whatever the annoyance maybe we should marvel at these difference instead of being resentful of the gender differences.